Ban HaM!

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LEWISTON, Maine –Police are investigating as a possible hate crime an incident in which a ham steak was placed in a bag on a lunch table where a group of Somali students were sitting.

Such an incident would be offensive to Som-alis, who are Mu–slims and consider pork unclean.A Lewiston Middle School student was suspended after the incident, which happened April 11.
Police investigate ham incident at school

Superintendent Leon Levesque said the incident is being treated seriously and police are investigating. The center for the Prevention of Hate Violence is working with the school to devise a response plan.

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Lawd. Can you imagine if a Christian “ape” infi-del, or “pig” descendant Jew actually sat at their table.

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Hmmm…so geniuses, exactly what kinna complex “response plan” is needed to pick up a discarded ham sandwich and toss it in the nearest trash bin. Pfffft.

Next constitutional amendment:
Thou shalt not have your feelings hurt.

So let’s review class:

1-Piss Christ Exhibits = Free speech…………….”Not Offensive.”
2-Muuha-mmud cartoons = Hate and Racism…”Offensive.”

3-Jewish and Christian women who live a moral, conservative lifestyle = Repressed and backward…………….”Offensive.”
4-Muzlim women wearing a head to toe burr-ka = Feminist empowerment emphasizing their “inner beauty”…………..”Not Offensive.”

5-Making jokes or slurs against Moses or Jesus =Freedom of thought……”Not Offensive.”
6-Drawing cartoons bout Muuha-mmud = Won’t even be printed due to its Imperialistic and insulting nature………”Offensive.”

7-Israel launching rockets in self defense = Zionist terrorism……………………”Offensive.”
8-Hezbullies firing Kassam rockets at civilians in Israeli homes = Social justice and resistance….”Not Offensive.”

9-White people or Conservatives who claim that Izzlam is not a Religion of Peeeeeeace = racist and evil………………………………”Offensive.”
10-Muzlims who shriek “behead those who insult Izlam” = a poor, misunderstood racial Minority justifably venting frustration against an evil, capitaist, imperialist, Colonialist, racist, zionist Empire…..”Not Offensive.”

Got it?

There will be a CA-IR announcement soon, a dinner-hallal of course.

Gee, how charitable of the Muzzlims to even allow inf-dels to eat in the cafeteria.

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Well heck, we can always offer to eat or drink whatever “offends” them that day eh?

Stray pork product lyin around?
Offer to eat it!

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Alcoholic beverage in the midst?
Heck, offer to drink it!

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Seeing eye dog troublin ya So-mali?
Aw. I’ll walk him for ya all the way back to Somalia k?

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Someone “staring” them down?
Offer to make funny faces to get their attention to break their racist stare
.

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See?
We’re cooperating aintwe?

But what do ya suppose this ahem… “Hate Prevention Center” has done about hate crimes against young girls taunted by guys, rich white kids, (like the Duke LaCross players),Christians, or Jews?

Mebbe the gummint should open a new department: The Pig ‘n Ham Crime Unit..you know..to prevent these dangerous “transgressions and nip them in the bud eh.

Oh, and by the by…for something to be a “hate crime,” doesn’t it first have to be a crime?

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There must be a law somewheres against leavin stray illegal ham sandwiches on a table right?

Well it’s nice to know that this school is devising a “response plan” to deal with Ham Crimes…in light of the recent, tragic Virginia Tech massacre. I don’t know bout y’all, but I’ll sleep so much better knowin that.

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Y’all keep a stiff upper lip my friends.
This is only the beginning.

“A cat will look down to a man. A dog will look up to a man. But a pig will look you straight in the eye and see his equal.”
Winston Churchill

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38 Responses to “Ban HaM!”

  1. obob says:

    That is one one reason I could never convert, I love a good pulled pork bbq soaked pile on a bun. Praise Allah and pass the pork for a second helping

  2. 123beta says:

    Good Stuff Thursday…

    Time once again to feature posts from some of my favorite bloggers… Enjoy….

  3. Perri Nelson says:

    I’ll pass on the ham. I don’t like it, but how about some pork sausage?

    Yummy!

    I wonder why it is that Jewish people aren’t offended by having a ham sandwich left at their table? Aren’t they also forbidden from eating pork?

    You never see them complaining about it as a hate crime though.

    Could it be that they’re truly more tolerant that “the religion of peace”?

  4. Howard Larson says:

    So, do you suppose it was an Islamic provocation? Planting the bait then creating a stink? Sort of like those “Imams” who boarded a plane in Minneapolis while engaging in typical hijacker behavior?

  5. george samek US Army, Retiredg says:

    The British fighting radical Islam in the Sudan used pork as a weapon of fear… I read somewhere they would wrap the dead body of the Islamic warrior in pig skin, place pork in there mouth ,and bury them with there feet towards Meca, they then would release prisoners who had observed this to ,return and spread the word. Had a great effect on the enemy. Not sure if its true , but we should be shipping Jimmy Dean pork products to our troops to find out. Might oil of Pig become a standard issue item to our troops, and the British Navy?

  6. Martin says:

    “‘A cat will look down to a man. A dog will look up to a man. But a pig will look you straight in the eye and see his equal.’
    Winston Churchill”

    So I say, more pigs on planes! (I know, this is a theme of mine and somewhat unrelated…but when pigs fly we’ll all be safer. ;) )

  7. JR says:

    Hey Martin, that’s funny!

    Now if a religious Jew made a comment about the ham he would be told to go to hell…

    Why are we caving in to these people?! Come on!

    JR

  8. MariesTwoCents says:

    This is sick that it has come down to a Ham Sandwich being being a hate crime. We eat ham in America. We eat BBQ’d Pork! I’m with your other reader up there I enjoy a nice set of “Pork” Ribs right off the BBQ also.

    If they come here to live they are just going to have to put up with us eating pork. And they need to get a sense of humor also.

    A Ham Sandwich as a Hate Crime Pfft.

  9. Right Voices » Blog Archive » Who Knew A Ham Sandwich Could Get You Indicted? says:

    [...] Angel sums this up for us: 1-Piss Christ Exhibits = Free speech…………….”Not Offensive.” 2-Muuha-mmud cartoons = Hate and Racism…”Offensive.”3-Jewish and Christian women who live a moral, conservative lifestyle = Repressed and backward…………….”Offensive.” 4-Muzlim women wearing a head to toe burr-ka = Feminist empowerment emphasizing their “inner beauty”…………..”Not Offensive.” 5-Making jokes or slurs against Moses or Jesus =Freedom of thought……”Not Offensive.” 6-Drawing cartoons bout Muuha-mmud = Won’t even be printed due to its Imperialistic and insulting nature………”Offensive.” [...]

  10. bernie says:

    Anything hateful to Muslims is a crime. But this is nothing, wait until a few million more come into this country; oh what fun we will have!

  11. Smart-Lass says:

    Not a big pork fan, but tomorrow I will have a ham sandwich for lunch JUST BECAUSE I CAN. And somewhere I heard this legend (can anyone substantiate it?) that during some conflict in the Phillippines, a dude named Black Jack Pershing (or something like that) dipped bullets in pigs’ blood before executing muslim enemies. I think we won that little squabble. That was back, of course, when the leadership of this country had the stones to win in the first place.

  12. Martin says:

    The same General Pershing who lead the raid across the border into Mexico to stop the killing of Americans by Mexican criminals when he was yet only a junior officer. The ACLU would not have liked Pershing.

    If Allah is so smart, why did he leave a loophole through which the “enemies” of Islam could determine whether one of the “faithful” got to go to heaven or not? I’m not sure that all Muslims feel they are susceptible to the “porking” of the infidels, but the apparent willingness of Allah to leave his followers out in the cold… or hot, as it were… forces one to just stop and go, “hmmm”. ;)

  13. george samek US Army, Retiredg says:

    The Islamic kindergarden for America is open , and you are being forced to attend. No brute force will not be required to assure you are in your seat, PC, the ACLU, and the judges now makeing law ,on the fly, will shape us, one ham sandwich at a time. The Bend over principle is in effect,, many will give up one tiny bit of freedom at a time, without a fight, to avoid being ordered into the public corner ,a death by small cuts are still death, bleeding to death one drop at a time is a choice. I, for one will call BS on those who ask me to give up my freedom, which was paid for in American blood long ago. Islam offended?, Please, step off, take a deep breath, and get over it, you are not the boss of me, in my own country. At my last check we still seperate church , and, state, under the laws of Islam the church is the state . In America we are all blessed with free choice, and person freedom, use it, or lose it.

  14. Fang says:

    What’s for lunch?

  15. Right Truth says:

    Cops are not our personal body guards…

    The United States of America has the best law enforcement people in the world. I’m talking about police, highway patrol sheriff deputies and all who serve and protect our citizens. I praise their bravery, their skills, their willingness to place…

  16. jay says:

    If that’s a crime, then muzzies are guilty of the same when they walk within 2 feet of me. Nothing more offensive than that.

  17. Gayle says:

    LOL! As always I love your post! I also love that Churchhill quote at the end of it. I think the muzzies are afraid of pigs because they are more intelligent.

  18. Ari May says:

    Hi there,

    Haven’t visited the blog in a while. Great article. Great point.

  19. Dragon Lady's "My Republican Blog" says:

    There’s a Ham Steak in This Bag. YIKES!…

    For blistering sarcasm regarding this topic, Angel is a master. Go here to read her take on it. It’s to good to miss!…

  20. Lawman says:

    Since when did lunch become a “hate crime”? Good grief people! Get a grip already!

    I’m with Obob. Praise Allah and pass the pork sandwiches!!

  21. Nazareth says:

    of course suspending the student over a moronic act wasn’t concidered a ‘hate crime’ or even offensive to that student- noooo of course not. Muslims are living amoung gentiles in a gentile nation- they can either adjust to our ways or whine for the rest of their liv3s- looks like htey’re going to incessantly whine about every minor offense and force us all to observe Islam!

  22. nanc says:

    you have no idea what i’d have done with that ham – i’d have anointed the entawr joint with it! they’re trying to get EVERYONE by the short hairs for crying out loud.

  23. No Apology says:

    How ’bout we ban hate speech for pigs? Pigs are, after all, very intelligent and sensitive to unkind remarks. Maybe trot out a National Pig Recognition Day, to honor the Porkus Pigus Coalition for Unkind Sentiment Toward Swine.

    After all, prejudice is prejudice.

  24. Brooke says:

    Frickin’ whiners!

    Maybe we should exterminate every pig on earth? Oh, and Jew! Would that please ‘em?

    Spit!

  25. cube says:

    My response plan is as follows: moslems who are offended by western civilization, you are free to move to another country. I don’t think a SWAT team is needed to pick up discarded pork products or to ensure dog-free and adult beverage-free zones just for you.

    Just get along. Sheesh!

  26. Angel says:

    THANKS SO MUCH Y’ALL FOR THE WONDERFUL INSIGHTS! :)

  27. OMMAG says:

    Tonight I will be enjoying cheeseburgers with bacon.
    Topped off with a hearty pint of stout!
    For breakfast I will have Bacon, eggs, hashbrowns, cornbread.
    Washed down with a heart glass of stout.
    It will be smoked HAM on Sunday and we’ll make sure to garnish the spuds with bacon too!

    Each and every bite or swallow will be a celebration of life and a blow for freedom!

    PS- don’t worry – My cholesterol and BP are fine …. comes with having a healthy respect for moderation. But today I am moderating my practice of moderation to strike a blow for freedom!

  28. benning says:

    It was a very rude thing to do. Hate crime? I doubt the student who did it was being hateful. Just rude.

    The “investigators” are definitely over-reacting.

  29. Robert M. says:

    What’s there to investigate anyway? Are they gonna fingerprint the offending lunchmeat? And then what, throw some middle-schoolers in jail?

  30. Howard Larson says:

    Smart-Lass, I believe the story comes out of the British colonial period in India.

    In that period, the soldiers were armed with muzzel loading rifles where a powder charge was poured down the barrel, after which, a bit of linen and a lead bullet was rammed down.

    Rather than measure out the powder, the soldiers were supplied with paper cartridges containing the proper load. The soldier merely ripped open the cartridge with his teeth and dumped the load in.

    A mutiny erupted in the Indians in the Army because of a rumor that was spread around that the cartridges were water proofed with either lard or beef tallow. Either way, Muslim or Hindu were offended and refused to shoot.

    In fact, the cartridges were waterproofed with either bees wax or mutton tallow.

  31. Martin says:

    Just had another thought: I just had some pork BarBQ for dinner tonight and I shared some with my dog. There’s a Chinese restaurant down the road that probably serves both; I wonder why Islamonuts are blowing up things in downtown Beijing…

  32. michael says:

    That Churchill quote just about sums it up, I think. To bad the Islamists will never see the irony…

  33. ZionistYoungster says:

    Ham, cartoons, novels… you know, Islam reminds me of the Wicked Witch of the West: you can’t think what could be her weakness, you think you’d need something real big to lay her low, and then you find out all it takes is a gush of water. Tanks, guns, F-16′s are a waste of resources. All we need is to send a barrage of pork rinds and Mohammed funnies over them and they’d all go away with a global explosion of heads. Idgets.

  34. Perspective... « Ironic Surrealism says:

    [...] But please scream out in a fit rage, when a couple of dudes pump hot lead into the koran. Perspective folks, it is all about the perspective… [...]

  35. GM Roper says:

    Angel, well said and the comments pick it up as well.

  36. Street talk and opinions » Ban HaM! says:

    [...] Read more at Angel [...]

  37. Perspective… : Velvet Hammer’s - Ironic Surrealism says:

    [...] But please scream out in a fit rage, when a couple of dudes pump hot lead into the koran. Perspective folks, it is all about the perspective… [...]

  38. Perspective… « Infidel says:

    [...] But please scream out in a fit rage, when a couple of dudes pump hot lead into the koran. Perspective folks, it is all about the perspective… [...]