I am a DanceR
I went dancing last night and fell.
From the floor to the ceiling.
From the ground to the distant Heavens.
Ecstasy.
I danced through my burdens, my passions, my memories of he, who was here in this very room……my soul.
Before long it will mark three years……. since my cherished family friend, went to meet his Maker.
Another year has gone by.
And, I am still trying to dance.
Three hundred and sixty five days..
12 months
52 weeks
8,760 hours
525,600 minutes
3,153,6000 seconds
Will, I dance for you.
You were there last night, You whispered..No More sorrow..and yet, here it is …another day without you.
My loved ones urged me on, exclaiming, the Good Lord wishes you, Angel, to be dancing still, into His light.
With every step I rise magically to reach for your spirit.
I try with fragile, artful grace to find you somewhere here, where you once stood tall with muscles taut down to your toes.
I mark time with every heartbeat, knowing you are glancing down..looking after me, guarding me, …twirling, spinning, leaping.
I was there when the Good Lord wrapped His arms around your failing body and allowed you to fall into a deep sleep.
The pain fell upon me like a heavy cloak, and my feet would not dance.
The angst became like a heavy stone I wore, forever dragging me down into waters that I could never seem to rise above, drowning me in my own inescapable sadness.
And yet, We danced until our dance was done.
Last night I danced high, and light, and free, calling to mind the memory of The Dance we shared in this life and my pledge to you on your dying day… that I keep dancing.
I stamped and stomped. Am I keeping my tenuous balance on this bewildering globe of ours. I whirled and tossed, with every step leaving behind the anger I dare not offer to His face for taking you so soon.
I tiptoed so as not to let the celestial dream go.
I went dancing last night and fell.
From the floor to the ceiling.
From the ground to the distant Heavens.
Extending my hand for a dance to my friends at Perri Nelson’s Website, Blog @ MoreWhat.com, Rosemary’s Thoughts, The Random Yak, A Blog For All, 123beta, Adam’s Blog, Big Dog’s Weblog, Right Truth, Webloggin, Stuck On Stupid, Leaning Straight Up, The Amboy Times, The Bullwinkle Blog, Conservative Thoughts, Pursuing Holiness, Diary of the Mad Pigeon, third world county, The World According to Carl, Nuke’s news and views, Pirate’s Cove, Blue Star Chronicles, CommonSenseAmerica, Wake Up America, Dumb Ox Daily News, High Desert Wanderer, and Church and State, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.
August 12th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
What, don’t want to dance with a Political Pistachio? Ah, nuts. That’s okay, I only dance the two-step anyway. Okay, okay, you know I am married, you are forgiven.
August 12th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
What a beautiful, touching post, Angel. It brought tears to my eyes. Tears of compassion because I’m sure it’s a personal post, although I didn’t know you lost someone you loved.
God bless you.
August 12th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
I’ll just sing or play the tune. Dancing, I wrap my eyeteeth around my ankles…
August 12th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Angel - my thoughts echo Gayle’s. Your post brought tears to my eyes as I read the words and the emotions behind them. The feeling of having to go on without the loved one when you didn’t want to continue one more step; the realization that a full year has passed by and you look back and realize God held you up each step of the way!
God’s blessings to you friend!
August 12th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
Beautiful. I was worried about you when I got the trackback though. The excerpt only said “I went dancing and I fell…”
August 12th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
Wonderful
August 12th, 2007 at 10:12 pm
I’m impressed.
August 12th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
Angel,
Sometimes we have to remind ourselves how the departed would have us feel in their absence.
August 12th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
That was beautiful, Angel. I know the bite of loss and this really spoke to me. God bless ya and keep yer chin up, friend!
August 12th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
Kevin offers good advice. Your post is very touching. It is so difficult to lose someone we cherish but God is clear when He tells us that He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. By the grace of Him, we have that hope to see our loved ones again if they put their trust in Jesus. I treasure this hope. Thanks so much for sharing.
August 12th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
Man, was that ever nice. Sooner or later in our lives, all of our lives, we lose someone so dear that we realize how harshly we always recoiled from the idea of them being mortal. Like a protection, of sorts, from having to consider ever being without them. If God allows us to live longer, we may experience it many more times with many other dear souls we are blessed with in our lifetime. If we never experience it, we have ourselves left and are someone else’s pain.
He danced with you, Angel.
August 12th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
THE DANCE….song by Garth Brooks (Written by: Tony Arata)
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared ‘neath the stars alone
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you’d ever say goodbye
And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn’t I a king
But if I’d only known how the king would fall
Hey who’s to say you know I might have chanced it all
And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I’d of had to miss the dance.
Sort of says it all….welcome back back Angel…i am sure they are all smiling upstairs….
August 12th, 2007 at 11:38 pm
That’s a beautiful, lyrical post, Angel. Keep dancing for you, and for all of us!
August 12th, 2007 at 11:59 pm
Beautiful, sad, beautiful, joyful, beautiful.
August 13th, 2007 at 1:27 am
And a poet! Brought tears to my eyes, as well. Very beautifully written Angel.
There’s a beautiful poem about death by William Wordsworth, this is the first part:
Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home..
Keep dancing, my friend!
August 13th, 2007 at 3:37 am
Touching post, seem to come from the heart, or was it from somewhere outside your physical being, the higher self. Expressed with love, candor and clarity, do keep dancing and thanks for sharing.
August 13th, 2007 at 5:06 am
Here’s one I just penned for my Angel:
Death is an illusion
A lie told by Hell
Learn to see past it
And to know that all is well
The Lord understands your anger
And sees beyond it, too
He knows that you love Him
As much as He loves you
YD
August 13th, 2007 at 6:04 am
What a great post, Angel. It was a GEM. One of your best
Thanks for it.
August 13th, 2007 at 6:06 am
PS
I forgot to say how much i liked that dancing in the moonlight pic.
August 13th, 2007 at 6:46 am
And you said you didn’t write personal posts, Angel….
This was beautiful.
August 13th, 2007 at 8:14 am
Angel,
How beautiful!
The metaphor is excellent, particularly because I, too, love to dance. I can’t imagine losing my partner. Well, I don’t want to imagine such a thing.
August 13th, 2007 at 8:21 am
Hi Angel,
I agree with Debbie, I read the same trackback and was instantly concerned about you because I sure wouldn’t want you to be hurt.
So I am relieved that you are alright and glad that you had a good time dancing, whew girl you sure know how to startle a fella.
August 13th, 2007 at 8:30 am
I missed that part of you loosing a close loved one, I am so sorry about that, I had no idea that you lost a loved one.
May God Bless You And Keep You And Help You Through All Of The Sorrow And Pain And Give You His Strength And His Peace To Carry On.
August 13th, 2007 at 8:39 am
THANKS SO SO MUCH FRIENDS FOR THE WARM , LOVING COMMENTS.
It is so so appreciated!
August 13th, 2007 at 9:21 am
Beautiful, touching post.
Kevin is right! Your loved one would not want such continued sorrow, although I’m sure he is honored that your remember him so strongly.
August 13th, 2007 at 9:50 am
ohdang!
where’s nancpop when i need him?
when our son was little and pop and i would dance around the room, he would ask, “are you two marryin’?” we’d dance just to hear him ask that.
August 13th, 2007 at 10:16 am
Awesome post, I really like the Poetry aspect of it. I can’t dance, and when I do, I look like I have a medical emergency!
August 13th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
“I went dancing last night and fell.
From the floor to the ceiling.
From the ground to the distant Heavens.”
Sounds like a nasty fall. You might want to have that looked at.
August 13th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
How brave of you to share such a personal life experience. I applaud you for your courage and I pray the good Lord gives you the courage to continue on dancing.
What a touching tribute to your friend and perhaps a small remnant of making peace with a truly sad circumstance of life.
I have learned over the years nothing is forever - that the only constant is change.
Let God’s peace be with you as no man can give and I pray you feel the kiss of God on your cheek as he wipes away every tear.
God bless you hun.
August 13th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Women.
August 13th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
I’m sure your friend was dancing right alongside you.
August 13th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
I love a foxtrot or a waltz. I can handle a tango or cha cha as well, and even swing.
But I haven’t had much opportunity to utilize my skills in the last 20 years or so.
And anyway, my knee would just pop out.
August 13th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
angel, this almost seemed to personal and private to read. I felt your pain!
August 13th, 2007 at 5:53 pm
My dear Angel, I will be praying for your comfort. Be still…
August 13th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
NFL Pre-season week #1…
Oh wow. I’ve been sleeping on the job, man. I didn’t even know there were games Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and tomorrow! Holy cow. Well, let’s get busy with the scores, shall we?
I saw the game on Saturday between t ……
August 13th, 2007 at 6:25 pm
Beautiful. Really shows how much you lost. I am so sorry.
August 13th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Thank you for that glimpse of your heart.
May you always soar
As on wings of eagles
August 13th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Thanks for sharing this, Angel. I am sorry for your loss.
August 13th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
ONCE AGAIN..THANKS TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU FOR YOUR LOVELY COMMENTS..!
August 14th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
Angel, that was beautiful and touching. Thanks for sharing it.
August 14th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
few people in this world are given the gift of dance. you are truly blessed with this gift and it is an inspiration to all………….
August 17th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
When you dance like you breathe youve finally found the perfect means of expressing yourself…
Usually you dedicate a dance to the one you are with, but it is much more meaningful to dedicate it to one that you cant be with.
There’s nothing that you can do which could express your love any more.
(I’m going to dance now, I’m literally going right out the door!!!!!!!)
August 18th, 2007 at 9:25 am
Hold everything! I forgot just one word… “effortlessly”. Its obvious that my proof-reading ability doesnt come effortlessly. OK, lets try again…
When you dance effortlessly like you breathe, youve finally found the perfect means of expressing yourself…
Usually you dedicate a dance to the one you are with, but it is much more meaningful to dedicate it to one that you cant be with.
There’s nothing that you can do which could express your love any more.
February 7th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Great pst!