I am a DanceR

I went dancing last night and fell.
From the floor to the ceiling.
From the ground to the distant Heavens.

Ecstasy.

I danced through my burdens, my passions, my memories of he, who was here in this very room……my soul.

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Before long it will mark three years……. since my cherished family friend, went to meet his Maker.

Another year has gone by.
And, I am still trying to dance.

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Three hundred and sixty five days..

12 months

52 weeks

8,760 hours

525,600 minutes

3,153,6000 seconds

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Will, I dance for you.
You were there last night, You whispered..No More sorrow..and yet, here it is …another day without you.

My loved ones urged me on, exclaiming, the Good Lord wishes you, Angel, to be dancing still, into His light.

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With every step I rise magically to reach for your spirit.
I try with fragile, artful grace to find you somewhere here, where you once stood tall with muscles taut down to your toes.

I mark time with every heartbeat, knowing you are glancing down..looking after me, guarding me, …twirling, spinning, leaping.

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I was there when the Good Lord wrapped His arms around your failing body and allowed you to fall into a deep sleep.

The pain fell upon me like a heavy cloak, and my feet would not dance.
The angst became like a heavy stone I wore, forever dragging me down into waters that I could never seem to rise above, drowning me in my own inescapable sadness.

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And yet, We danced until our dance was done.

Last night I danced high, and light, and free, calling to mind the memory of The Dance we shared in this life and my pledge to you on your dying day… that I keep dancing.

I stamped and stomped. Am I keeping my tenuous balance on this bewildering globe of ours. I whirled and tossed, with every step leaving behind the anger I dare not offer to His face for taking you so soon.
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I tiptoed so as not to let the celestial dream go.

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I went dancing last night and fell.
From the floor to the ceiling.
From the ground to the distant Heavens.

Extending my hand for a dance to my friends at Perri Nelson’s Website, Blog @ MoreWhat.com, Rosemary’s Thoughts, The Random Yak, A Blog For All, 123beta, Adam’s Blog, Big Dog’s Weblog, Right Truth, Webloggin, Stuck On Stupid, Leaning Straight Up, The Amboy Times, The Bullwinkle Blog, Conservative Thoughts, Pursuing Holiness, Diary of the Mad Pigeon, third world county, The World According to Carl, Nuke’s news and views, Pirate’s Cove, Blue Star Chronicles, CommonSenseAmerica, Wake Up America, Dumb Ox Daily News, High Desert Wanderer, and Church and State, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

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44 Responses to “I am a DanceR”

  1. Douglas V. Gibbs says:

    What, don’t want to dance with a Political Pistachio? Ah, nuts. That’s okay, I only dance the two-step anyway. Okay, okay, you know I am married, you are forgiven. :)

  2. Gayle says:

    What a beautiful, touching post, Angel. It brought tears to my eyes. Tears of compassion because I’m sure it’s a personal post, although I didn’t know you lost someone you loved. :(

    God bless you.

  3. David says:

    I’ll just sing or play the tune. Dancing, I wrap my eyeteeth around my ankles…

    ;-)

  4. Strawberry says:

    Angel – my thoughts echo Gayle’s. Your post brought tears to my eyes as I read the words and the emotions behind them. The feeling of having to go on without the loved one when you didn’t want to continue one more step; the realization that a full year has passed by and you look back and realize God held you up each step of the way!

    God’s blessings to you friend!

  5. Debbie says:

    Beautiful. I was worried about you when I got the trackback though. The excerpt only said “I went dancing and I fell…”

  6. TJ's Anti-contrarian Blog says:

    Wonderful

  7. Big White Hat says:

    I’m impressed.

  8. kevin says:

    Angel,
    Sometimes we have to remind ourselves how the departed would have us feel in their absence.

  9. Martin says:

    That was beautiful, Angel. I know the bite of loss and this really spoke to me. God bless ya and keep yer chin up, friend! :D

  10. wytammic says:

    Kevin offers good advice. Your post is very touching. It is so difficult to lose someone we cherish but God is clear when He tells us that He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. By the grace of Him, we have that hope to see our loved ones again if they put their trust in Jesus. I treasure this hope. Thanks so much for sharing.

  11. Defiant_Infidel says:

    Man, was that ever nice. Sooner or later in our lives, all of our lives, we lose someone so dear that we realize how harshly we always recoiled from the idea of them being mortal. Like a protection, of sorts, from having to consider ever being without them. If God allows us to live longer, we may experience it many more times with many other dear souls we are blessed with in our lifetime. If we never experience it, we have ourselves left and are someone else’s pain.

    He danced with you, Angel.

  12. KKarLLmM says:

    THE DANCE….song by Garth Brooks (Written by: Tony Arata)

    Looking back on the memory of
    The dance we shared ‘neath the stars alone
    For a moment all the world was right
    How could I have known that you’d ever say goodbye

    And now I’m glad I didn’t know
    The way it all would end the way it all would go
    Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
    But I’d of had to miss the dance

    Holding you I held everything
    For a moment wasn’t I a king
    But if I’d only known how the king would fall
    Hey who’s to say you know I might have chanced it all

    And now I’m glad I didn’t know
    The way it all would end the way it all would go
    Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
    But I’d of had to miss the dance

    Yes my life is better left to chance
    I could have missed the pain but I’d of had to miss the dance.

    Sort of says it all….welcome back back Angel…i am sure they are all smiling upstairs….

  13. Donald Douglas says:

    That’s a beautiful, lyrical post, Angel. Keep dancing for you, and for all of us!

  14. D. Ox says:

    Beautiful, sad, beautiful, joyful, beautiful.

  15. Incognito says:

    And a poet! Brought tears to my eyes, as well. Very beautifully written Angel.

    There’s a beautiful poem about death by William Wordsworth, this is the first part:

    Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
    The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
    Hath had elsewhere its setting,
    And cometh from afar:
    Not in entire forgetfulness,
    And not in utter nakedness,
    But trailing clouds of glory do we come
    From God, who is our home..

    Keep dancing, my friend!

  16. Ottavio Marasco says:

    Touching post, seem to come from the heart, or was it from somewhere outside your physical being, the higher self. Expressed with love, candor and clarity, do keep dancing and thanks for sharing.

  17. Yankee Doodle says:

    Here’s one I just penned for my Angel:

    Death is an illusion
    A lie told by Hell
    Learn to see past it
    And to know that all is well
    The Lord understands your anger
    And sees beyond it, too
    He knows that you love Him
    As much as He loves you

    YD

  18. DD2 says:

    What a great post, Angel. It was a GEM. One of your best
    Thanks for it.

  19. DD2 says:

    PS
    I forgot to say how much i liked that dancing in the moonlight pic.

  20. michael says:

    And you said you didn’t write personal posts, Angel….
    This was beautiful.

  21. Always On Watch says:

    Angel,
    How beautiful!

    The metaphor is excellent, particularly because I, too, love to dance. I can’t imagine losing my partner. Well, I don’t want to imagine such a thing.

  22. Phil says:

    Hi Angel,

    I agree with Debbie, I read the same trackback and was instantly concerned about you because I sure wouldn’t want you to be hurt.

    So I am relieved that you are alright and glad that you had a good time dancing, whew girl you sure know how to startle a fella. :)

  23. Phil says:

    I missed that part of you loosing a close loved one, I am so sorry about that, I had no idea that you lost a loved one. :(

    May God Bless You And Keep You And Help You Through All Of The Sorrow And Pain And Give You His Strength And His Peace To Carry On.

  24. Angel says:

    THANKS SO SO MUCH FRIENDS FOR THE WARM , LOVING COMMENTS.
    It is so so appreciated! :)

  25. brooke says:

    Beautiful, touching post.

    Kevin is right! Your loved one would not want such continued sorrow, although I’m sure he is honored that your remember him so strongly.

  26. nanc says:

    ohdang!

    where’s nancpop when i need him?

    when our son was little and pop and i would dance around the room, he would ask, “are you two marryin’?” we’d dance just to hear him ask that.

  27. Robert Bayn says:

    Awesome post, I really like the Poetry aspect of it. I can’t dance, and when I do, I look like I have a medical emergency!

  28. John Kaiser says:

    “I went dancing last night and fell.
    From the floor to the ceiling.
    From the ground to the distant Heavens.”

    Sounds like a nasty fall. You might want to have that looked at.

  29. Layla says:

    How brave of you to share such a personal life experience. I applaud you for your courage and I pray the good Lord gives you the courage to continue on dancing.

    What a touching tribute to your friend and perhaps a small remnant of making peace with a truly sad circumstance of life.

    I have learned over the years nothing is forever – that the only constant is change.

    Let God’s peace be with you as no man can give and I pray you feel the kiss of God on your cheek as he wipes away every tear.

    God bless you hun.

  30. Kevin says:

    Women.

  31. cube says:

    I’m sure your friend was dancing right alongside you.

  32. The Hermit says:

    I love a foxtrot or a waltz. I can handle a tango or cha cha as well, and even swing.

    But I haven’t had much opportunity to utilize my skills in the last 20 years or so.

    And anyway, my knee would just pop out.

  33. Jungle mom says:

    angel, this almost seemed to personal and private to read. I felt your pain!

  34. Rosemary says:

    My dear Angel, I will be praying for your comfort. Be still…

  35. Rosemary's Thoughts says:

    NFL Pre-season week #1…

    Oh wow. I’ve been sleeping on the job, man. I didn’t even know there were games Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and tomorrow! Holy cow. Well, let’s get busy with the scores, shall we?

    I saw the game on Saturday between t ……

  36. Dapoppins says:

    Beautiful. Really shows how much you lost. I am so sorry.

  37. Panhandle Poet says:

    Thank you for that glimpse of your heart.

    May you always soar
    As on wings of eagles

  38. Angevin13 says:

    Thanks for sharing this, Angel. I am sorry for your loss.

  39. Angel says:

    ONCE AGAIN..THANKS TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU FOR YOUR LOVELY COMMENTS..! :)

  40. Neil says:

    Angel, that was beautiful and touching. Thanks for sharing it.

  41. babygirl_lonz says:

    few people in this world are given the gift of dance. you are truly blessed with this gift and it is an inspiration to all………….

  42. Freedom Now says:

    When you dance like you breathe youve finally found the perfect means of expressing yourself…

    Usually you dedicate a dance to the one you are with, but it is much more meaningful to dedicate it to one that you cant be with.

    There’s nothing that you can do which could express your love any more.

    (I’m going to dance now, I’m literally going right out the door!!!!!!!)

  43. Freedom Now says:

    Hold everything! I forgot just one word… “effortlessly”. Its obvious that my proof-reading ability doesnt come effortlessly. OK, lets try again…

    When you dance effortlessly like you breathe, youve finally found the perfect means of expressing yourself…

    Usually you dedicate a dance to the one you are with, but it is much more meaningful to dedicate it to one that you cant be with.

    There’s nothing that you can do which could express your love any more.

  44. Sistrunk says:

    Great pst!