RogeR Federer

Hemlock. A crowbar to the knees. Locusts. To most tennis fans, these might seem like the only ways to topple Roger Federer, the three-time defending U.S. Open champion and arguably the greatest tennis player of all time.

Five Ways to Beat Roger Federer
As the U.S. Open gets under way, we offer five perfectly legal ways to take down Roger Federer.

Y’all know what a tennis freak I am.
I’m gunna take these ideas to heart. Let us analyze shall we.

1. Defense.
OK..I can do that.
However……..My spectacular defense might involve throwin my racket in the direction of his barely visible, piercing forehand.

2.. Backhand.
Hmmmmm. My two handed (why can’t I ever hit topspin) backhand against his consistently ferocious one-handed backhand?
Yea. If I use a baseball mebbe.

3. Show Your Emotion.
That, I can do. Yea. I can rattle his cage eh. How do I look with mah fists all pumped huh.

4. Bore Him.
So, let’s see. I don’t use my sneaky drop shot, my stupendous lob, or my wicked slice…i just keep hittin the same shots over n over again?
Will that bore him sufficiently?
How bout I jus read him a Lefty liberal’s blog instead………

5. The Power of Positive Thinking.
Yea yea. It’s all bout the body language and the ‘tude’.
Got that covered. Heh.

There it is, a recipe to derail the world’s best. Easy, right? Ha. Bollettieri offers a more sure-fire tip. “Take him to a restaurant,” he says, “and put a little hot tamale in his food.”

I think I jus bout got it covered.Sooooooooo…….Look out Roger.

On second thought…….Hot tamale anyone?

Smashing my forehand to my friends over at Outside the Beltway, Blog @, Perri Nelson’s Website, The Virtuous Republic, Rosemary’s Thoughts, Adam’s Blog, Big Dog’s Weblog, Right Truth, Nuke’s News & Views, Webloggin,, The Amboy Times, Leaning Straight Up, The Bullwinkle Blog, Conservative Cat, Diary of the Mad Pigeon, third world county, Faultline USA, Wake Up America, The Uncooperative Radio Show!, The World According to Carl, Walls of the City, Blue Star Chronicles, Pirate’s Cove, CommonSenseAmerica, Dumb Ox Daily News, High Desert Wanderer, and Right Voices, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

25 Responses to “RogeR Federer”

  1. University Update - Roger Federer - RogeR Federer says:

    [...] WWE RogeR Federer » This Summary is from an article posted at Woman Honor Thyself on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 This article’s contents are copywritten by the author of Woman Honor Thyself . Please click "View Original Article…" below to view the article. Summary Provided by Technorati.comView Original Article at Woman Honor Thyself » 10 Most Recent News Articles About Roger Federer [...]

  2. Ottavio says:

    Richard Williams, father and coach of Venus and Serena Williams says:

    There’s only three ways to beat Roger Federer, and I’ll tell you. You first pay him enough money not to show up. That’s the first thing you do. If he turns that down, then you try your best to get a baseball bat and break his leg, because he runs so fast. Now, if he gets away from you, then the next one is just to sit like I do and watch him play, then you can beat anyone just sitting in the stands because you never miss a shot.

    Vladimir Klitschko, heavyweight boxing champion and friend of Federer’s says:

    I think you have to get him emotionally out of balance.
    And to get him emotionally out of balance, you have to check in the hotel next room to Roger and make all the possible noise in the room that he couldn’t sleep. Don’t let him get any sleep, and steal his luggage and his rackets so that he couldn’t play.
    You can kiss his girlfriend, and maybe he’d get jealous, you know, he’d get upset and whatever.

    I say we note what restaurants he haunts and bribe the waiters to throw some herb psyllium in his drink. It’s only a colon cleanser…

  3. Gayle says:

    ROTF! I knew this post was going to be a hoot! :)

    Why hasn’t anyone thought of stealing his tennis shoes? It’s not quite as drastic as hitting the poor guy with a crowbar! LOL! I’m sure he has very special and expensive shoes that can’t be replaced at a moments notice. Shoes he loves. Shoes he depends on. Shoes that – if he had to play without them – would throw him off his game. Throwing your tennis racket at him won’t work, Angel darlin’… he runs so fast he won’t have any problem dodging it.

    We’ll have to meet someday. If you want to win all the time all you have to do is play me. I’m a lousy tennis player. I used to coach girl’s high-school softball, and was once the captain of a girl’s basketball team, but I never was any good at Tennis. I appreciate those who are really good at it because it’s a sport that looks easy if you only are watching it, but it’s a killer sport, far more difficult than it looks.

  4. DD2 says:

    If he could pitch, we could use him on the Yankees.

  5. Debbie says:

    This is all in fun of course. I don’t play tennis, so I can’t contribute. I like Gayle and Ottavio’s suggestions.

  6. Fang says:

    Hi Angel. I sent you a bunch of emails. If the new wordpress login does not work then we will have to work outside the box. Anyhow I will get it sorted soon for you because I love your comments and support.

    Bless and gods love xo fang.

  7. OMMAG says:

    Feel the force within you Angel!

    Hey… c’mom it’s not like you’re going to be playing against Roger!
    Let the chips fall where they may! And, if Roger finds himself someday up against a younger and tougher opponent … be it!

    BTW – I was enjoying the Ladies matches yesterday for a bit.
    Did you think that Sarina’s mock baby-doll outfit was just a little bit TOO cutesie??

  8. Joe Gringo says:

    Roger Federer is the Tiger Woods of tennis…err, Tiger Woods is the Roger Federer of golf…..either way, we are witnessing the 2 greatest athletes at their sport in this time in history, both in their prime.

    The best thing about these guys? They’ve totally elevated everyone else’s game.

  9. The Hermit says:

    Never played tennis much. Tried it, but too hard on the knees. Too hot, as well.

  10. Yankee Doodle says:


  11. daniel says:

    Your posts are so cute!
    Take care Angel!
    And watch out for those balls!

  12. Edge says:

    I never could get in to tennis. My granddad played tennis until he was 86!

  13. Middle America says:

    Honestly, where do you find all the gifs?

  14. wytammic says:

    Hi Angel,
    I love tennis too! However, really cannot stand Federer. I think he’s arrogant and always plays the lousy English card to say cocky things. Of course, I’m a huge Pete Sampras fan, and the idea of Roger surpassing any of his records makes me mad! :)

  15. Blog @ » Blog Archive » MoreWhat Matters: Today’s Blog List says:

    [...] Woman Honor Thyself [...]

  16. brooke says:

    You tennis freaks! LOL!

    I totally lack the coordination for the sport! :lol:

  17. Rosemary says:

    This is hilarious, and I don’t even like tennis! LOL

  18. Rosemary's Thoughts says:

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  19. DL says:

    Angel, forget all that tennis stuff and just bribe the line judges. Surely you’ve learned something from the pair from Little Rock.

  20. Angel says:


  21. Defiant_Infidel says:

    I’m saving my knees for snowmobiling… but I’d cheer you on while I watched you play tennis!

  22. KKarLLmmM says:

    Allow be to bore you all….the idea that struck me is….to sit and watch the grace and artistic magic of Mr. Federer. The game of tennis is a difficult and complex one..the rules of physics must be adhered to, while running at full speed and/or with a ball coming at you at up to 120mph.
    Reading your take, Angel, on the marvel that is Mr. Federer only adds to his mystique and makes your site the BEST..
    btw, i was a Boris Becker fan, but please lets not go there now.

  23. michael says:

    Cute post. I love the cartoons. I think I’ve actually played tennis, once, even…

  24. hnav says:

    the US OPEN !

    are you going to the games?

    last year, Billie Jean vilified GW during a ceremony to name the center after her…


  25. skbandyopadhyay says:

    its very simple to beat Roger federer–just put a cloth on his eyes & tie it up tightly—only Nadal can beat him on clay courts otherwise he is simply invincible