No Fault Divorce?

As a general rule, plaintiffs who file for “no-fault” divorce should be found unfit to gain custody of their children. This should be done for the protection of the children involved. But most importantly it should be done to restrain the growth rate of the scourge known as “no-fault” divorce.

‘No-Fault’ = No Kids
Radical homosexual activists have been bold in their attempt to redefine the basic make-up of the family by assaulting the God ordained institution of marriage with whatever creative sexual union could be devised. Yet the damage they’ve inflicted upon children to date is miniscule compared to the arrogance, selfishness, and defiance that the plaintiffs of “no-fault” divorce have unleashed upon child after child.

Particularly dangerous has been the growing effect of women seeking no-fault divorce only to then seek casual cohabitation with replacement men.

Children living in households with unrelated adults are nearly 50 times as likely to die of inflicted injuries as children living with two biological parents, according to a study…

Children living in stepfamilies or with single parents are at higher risk of physical or sexual assault than children living with two biological or adoptive parents, according to several studies …..

Girls whose parents divorce are at significantly higher risk of sexual assault, whether they live with their mother or their father, according to research……….

Wanting to fornicate without consequence wasn’t enough – now we wanted a guilt free way to make it happen. So as a result people are “finding themselves”, “trying to figure things out”, or stating that “they are not ready for the responsibilities” that marriage brings with it and just need an amicable way of exiting the situation.

No fault divorce.
Kind of oxymoronic isn’t it..not to mention disingenous too.

Of course it’s somebody’s bloody fault.

At least they should call it “both fault divorce”, or how about “all my fault divorce”, or “it’s really my fault but I’ll blame it all on you anyway divorce”. At least that would be more honest eh.eek.gif

In the absence of a serious basis, people should not even be getting a divorce, and guess what….If you’re not ready for a lifelong commitment: heck, don’t get married.

Divorce hurts kids, period.

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It hurts the couple, and it harms society at large . Why do think our Laws have traditionally supported marriage?
Because stable and long standing families are good for the whole of society.

With no-fault and “no more stigma” divorce, the commitment of marriage has been made short lived , always available for unilateral repudiation on the slightest caprice or whim.

Heck, picture any other “contract” with a “no fault” clause built in.
Oh yes..that would go over swimmingly well in business, for example. Contracts would now be available for instant unilateral repudiation with no penalty
. Hooray!

Parents deceive themselves regarding the trauma of divorce.

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Every movie invariably has some parent saying: “But, Tommy, Mommy and Daddy still love you very much, and always will.”

Tommy knows better.
Ask any kid of divorce.

Mommy and Daddy once supposedly “loved each other very much” too huh…and alot of good that did them.

Trust is shattered, oftentimes, forever.

Combine the lack of social stigma with actual concrete incentives such as awards of property, alimony, the bonus of tax-free child support and “government ‘assistance”. money6.gif

Living together, shacking up, cohabiting..anything instead of marriage oftentimes produces tax advantages in addition to other forms of governmental “assistance” to the point that some single moms get tax “refunds” which could literally add up to thousands of dollars.
And guess what, the poor lil single mother hasn’t paid a single red cent of income tax.

Throw this into the bargain.

Violence against the non-blood-related children by the new man is just one example. (In nature the new lion will often eat the cubs of the previous male when mating with a previously mated lioness.) Men who cruise women with children is a phenomenon now that we can track statistically.

And then there is the Woody Allen syndrome of the individual who is drawn toward sexual acting out with the blooming daughters of the formerly married woman.


Now, That’s one hellaNightmare if ever there was one.

To say marriage has become devalued is a masterpiece of understatement.
Yes, there are such things nowadays as “divorce parties.”

Many abusive, hopeless situations call for divorce, even and sometimes especially because children are involved.
Divorce, if you must.
But be man and woman enough to “find the fault.”, and have NO doubt that it is beyond a doubt: irreconcilable.

Spreading the luv to my friends over at Perri Nelson’s Website, Rosemary’s Thoughts, 123beta, Adam’s Blog, Right Truth, Stuck On Stupid, Big Dog’s Weblog, Cao’s Blog, Leaning Straight Up, The Bullwinkle Blog, The Amboy Times, Chuck Adkins, Conservative Cat, Pursuing Holiness, Faultline USA, The World According to Carl, Pirate’s Cove, Blue Star Chronicles, CommonSenseAmerica, High Desert Wanderer, and Right Voices, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

28 Responses to “No Fault Divorce?”

  1. Incognito says:

    How sad for the kids! The problem today is that people enter the marriage contract knowing that they can easily get out of it, if they get bored, tired, the romance dies etc. No-one is willing to work at a marriage, and oftentimes it comes down to that. Not that I’d know, but I’ve seen it happen too many times. We’ve become a disposable society. Very sad.

  2. Pela68 says:

    I can’t say that I know very much of the penal system in the USA, but if it is as you described it it sounds really, really strange. But I’ll tell you this. I’m a unmarried Father- heck the majority of the kids here in Sweden are concived by cohabs or has (mostly) single mothers and I’m quite shure that these kids here feels ever so good as the kids in the USA. Or take for example Island were- if I remember it correctly- 70-80% of the children are born out of wedlock. It might ofcourse be a demographic question…

  3. divorce » Blog Archive » No Fault Divorce? says:

    [...] Read the rest of this great post here [...]

  4. Always On Watch says:

    Divorce hurts kids, period.

    I disagree in one circumstance: when one parent is a drug addict. I’m speaking of hard drugs–in this case, cocaine.

    I know one woman who stuck with her husband for 10 long years. He would not quit. His behaviors ruined the family’s finances and put the wife and two children in imminent danger. In the man’s drug frenzies, he picked up an STD and nearly cost the wife her life.

    In such a case, I see divorce as the only possibility.

    BTW, the man today is still using. Recently, he recruited his adult children to deal drugs. They did so, and one is facing a 40-year sentence as the result.

    I hope that you don’t mind my disagreeing with you on this one aspect, Angel. Overall, I do agree with you.

    BTW, I too just posted on the subject of family life, but not on divorce. What I posted about is just as destructive for the family unit, IMO.

  5. Angel says:

    YOU DONT DISAGREE AOW…In that case there clearly is FAULT!! :)

  6. Layla says:

    Good post and I agree with you on this one. The kids are always the ones that suffer and it is pathetic. :evil:

  7. Defiant_Infidel says:

    “But, Tommy, Mommy and Daddy still love you very much, and always will.”

    Tommy knows better.
    Ask any kid of divorce.

    Mommy and Daddy once supposedly “loved each other very much” too huh…and alot of good that did them.

    Hmmmm…. As always, you make the wheels of my miniscule brain grind and howl seeking extra lubrication to withstand the load!

    I agree… mostly. But may I suggest there are exceptions?

    My mother and father separated when I was only 11. Dad was verbally abusive to my mother and finally slapped her one evening in an argument before going to work… in front of me. It was something Dad had always preached to me was ALWAYS wrong and unacceptable (correctly, of course). I got caught late that night by my mother preparing to kill my own father. Mom packed bags and we left for Florida the following day.

    It took several years for them to conclude the marriage with a divorce. They remained in love, and devoted to us two children, until my father’s last day alive, some eighteen years later. But you could not undo what had occurred.

    It took a lot of self examining on my part to understand all the details and implications. For awhile I blamed me. Then I blamed Dad. Finally, I stopped blaming period. Through all this and the time that elapsed, I always had the love and devotion of both my parents… fully, completely, without question. They never spoke negatively about the other to us children, but simply stated it was their equivalent mistake. I believe that was true.

    Dad should never have broken his own sacred rule. NO ONE is justified to physically abuse another in a relationship. Mom should never have tolerated the verbal abuse in the first place, either. It was a sign that was wrongly ignored. They both should have sought counseling by someone who could recognize the patterns and reveal them to both my parents. It was the culmination of irretrievable mistakes. Sad, permanent, and irreversible once done.

    But, I know they BOTH always loved their children and even though apart, they continued to work together in all possible ways (given the circumstances) to give us the best they mutually still could. Perhaps my situation was unique or unusual… and I tend to think it was. But I am probably not the only example.

    Young people make huge life mistakes, very much in the ways you have espoused here, Angel… and still other ways, too. It often stems from moral wanderings that should be off limits in the first place. But it does not necessarily wipe out everything else in their lives that is meaningful. A sincere love and caring for their own flesh and blood might often be one of those items that still endures.

    It certainly should be important enough to survive all strife. And I will always have great honor for my parents that they both recognized that.

    This was one of your most personally impacting posts ever, Angel. It hurts a little, but I have have strong shoulders that have held up under this weight for a long time now. Your excellent points are very worthy of the difficulty of looking in the mirror. I really thank you for that.

    God bless.

  8. PRACTiCAL CHiCK says:

    The only circumstances I agree on divorce for are:

    Abuse (including drug problems that suck the family dry – man I wish my mom would have left my dad then I wouldn’t have been abused…he was a drug addict).
    Adultery

    I agree with you 100%. Having been through a class in contracts – you will very rarely see a contract with a clause like that.

    However, marriage is a contract with a higher meaning – a covenant.

  9. Darcee says:

    I don’t think anyone is saying that in marriages with violence or abuse, serious mental illness, philandering — something where one or both parties are seriously endangering the health and well-being of the family that the couple should stay together.

    I absolutely did the right thing divorcing my philandering, substance abusing, mentally ill ex. But it did hurt our daughter, even though it was over twelve years ago, she was a baby, I remarried after two years and my husband is a fantastic father, to her it still is a painful thing for her to know that her birth family was broken.

    I can not even imagine the chaos our lives would be today if I hadn’t left, but there will always be that scar for my child. Divorce hurts kids, even when it is the right thing to do, even when staying together would hurt worse.

  10. Mustang says:

    I think that one of the problems involving marriage these days is that of abbreviated engagements. When you rush to the alter, and aren’t completely familiar with the person standing next to you, then you are clearly at a disadvantage, and the future of the marriage is in danger from the very first day. Another difficulty is that people are getting married (and having children) much too early in life. Before they even know who they are, they are suddenly responsible for others. Even for people in their twenties, consider that they are only a few years beyond “children having children.” It is a sad situation when young mothers and fathers begin to resent their children, thinking that if it weren’t for the children arriving prematurely, they would be better off financially, or in some way a happier couple. This isn’t the children’s fault, but they suffer from the hedonism of their parents.

    Nothing in this world is forever — and so even under the best of circumstances, it is possible that a marriage will dissolve. People who have been married for 25 years find their way to divorce court. Apparently, no one imagines that on their wedding day that marriage requires hard work from both parties; the same is true for parenthood. No one is perfect. People make mistakes. When that happens, it seems that people suddenly transform fierce love into vicious hate and more often than not, the marriage ends in powerful vengeance. People forget that there are professionals to help them over the difficult days, and clergy. I am not suggesting that any spouse should remain in an abusive relationship, especially when the children are also being abused — but I am suggesting that parents need to consider that when they back out of a commitment, such as marriage, they are sending a strong message to their children. The kids at least deserve to have a full understanding of what is happening, why it is happening, and that it isn’t their fault.

    Based on this post and the one posted by Always on Watch, it would appear that our entire society has become dysfunctional; more the pity because as our birth rates decrease, there are other segments of society whose birth rates are increasing. In time, America will belong to others — and our legacy will be no more than a footnote in some history book.

  11. Gayle says:

    Hi Angel. As usual you’re right on target!

    I believe you know we raised our grand-daughter who is now in college. She had a lot of friends and she was the only one of them who came from a family where the parents weren’t ever divorced! Sheesh! Incidently, she’s also the only one who got to go to college. Well, one boy made it to the college, but it wasn’t long before he dropped out. Our society is collapsing in bits and pieces. America is looking to me like a piece of cheese that the rats have been nibbling on. More and more of it disappears with each passing day. It’s very discouraging.

  12. cube says:

    So sad. My girls are the products of a 25 year marriage & their father is a good man, however, I wonder about how poor their prospects are when I see some of the boys in their respective peer groups. When did dysfunction become the norm?

  13. middleclassguy says:

    You hit the nail on the head; “no stigma divorce”. People refuse to accept personal responsibility for anything. This is why we, as a society are in such a mess. We live messy lives and will not accept the consequences of our actions. We just go on to leave another mess someplace else.

  14. The Hermit says:

    I’m always glad to come here and read your posts. They make me feel like there are a lot of good people out there with a lot of common sense.

  15. MariesTwoCents says:

    You nailed it Angel :-)

    I have been married 25 years, raised my kids, and I bet you if they didnt have thier dad around they would have found ways to get in heaps of trouble that I wouldnt have been able to handle on my own. But with both parents they all turned out to be productive members of society.

    Besides that in Oklahoma if you want a divorce you have to take Marriage Counceling for 6 months no matter what reason it is you want a divorce.

    That’s a bit much lol

  16. Brooke says:

    I agree with you, Angel; no fault is lame! “I don’t like you anymore” isn’t an option when children are involved. People need to be mature enough to pick a person they can envision spending their ENTIRE LIFE with!

  17. EDGE says:

    No fault? Sounds like one of those feel good excuses! Good post Angel!

  18. Joe Gringo says:

    One of my best friends and a co-worker are going through a divorces, both have 3 kids……..and what a mess it is for the kids, in both cases it’s complete immaturity opn the parents part….they’re their kids ‘friends’ instead of parental figures.

  19. Big Dog says:

    You might find this interesting….

  20. Paul Champagne says:

    I really shouldn;t comment since I had a “no-fault” divorce once. And yes, it really should have been called an “it’s all my fault divorce”.

  21. MK says:

    Those studies you talk about, spot on, i’m just working my way through some material on Gay marriage and why it shouldn’t be allowed, apart from the Christian point of view and those studies are quoted in there.

    It always comes back to the refusal of people to take responsibility, too many people are getting married without thinking too much about it because they know that if they don’t like it after a few years, they can just walk away and leave the pieces behind.

  22. Always On Watch says:

    Angel,
    What I was disagreeing with is that divorce always hurts the children.

    But I didn’t phrase what I was saying very well.

    In the case of which I spoke (one parent a drug addict), the divorce did indeed hurt the children. But they’d have been hurt even more if their mother hadn’t taken a stand and booted their father.

    BTW, I know the case of which I’m speaking very well. I watched as the family imploded. Hideous, just hideous.

    But the mother had no choice but to head for divorce court. Her mistake was not seeing to it that her ex was jailed for his drug use and drug dealing. She didn’t take him to court on those charges because she didn’t want to hurt the children even more. However, as it turns out, the children’s father still took them down the tubes with him.

  23. Yankee Doodle says:

    Personally, I think we should have “no-fault” terrorism, too.

    I wonder if I could get Saudi money to fund lobbying for appropriate legislation?

    Great post, Angel!

  24. heidianne jackson says:

    i wish i could say i have never been divorced, but i have. it was necessary as he was beating me on a fairly regular basis and it just wasn’t a good environment for my children (or me). i wish i could change the past, but that does me no good.

    thanks for this post, angel. it’s thought provoking and well phrased.

  25. KkarLmM says:

    Jonah Is Thrown into the Sea

    11 Then they said to him, “What shall we do to you, that the sea may quiet down for us?” For the sea grew more and more tempestuous.
    12 He said to them, “Pick me up and hurl me into the sea; then the sea will quiet down for you,
    ****** (FOR I KNOW IT IS BECAUSE OF ME)*********
    that this great tempest has come upon you.”

    This passage in the Book of Jonah always reminds me of the exact point you are trying to make…..taking responsibility!!!
    that must me the first step…the rest are easier.

  26. A Little Revolution! says:

    Great Post! The Marriage Covenant is entered into way too lightly and broken even more lightly. I always say that God didn’t make rules for the fun of it. There ARE reasons for His rules!

  27. Chris says:

    Wow….I was utterly impressed with the direct and unapologetic way you described this blight on our society. I am bothered that some had the knee jerk reaction to feel they had to post the “exceptions” when you were never even close to speaking to those matters, abuse, addictions, etc.

    It is this urge to offer “exceptions” that is part of the fall out of the culture of divorce acceptance. OF COURSE abuse and addictions etc. should lead to getting a kid out of harms way….THATS a different article, and has no reason to even be mentioned here…all it does is serve to dilute the very valid points the post has made.

  28. Li'l Missy says:

    I was married for close to 10 years before I left my husband – who was having a string of affairs while addicted to meth. I really didn’t want to leave but I saw no other choice – as it was not a safe environment to be living in. I’m just grateful we had no children.