Sept 11 : My Story

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Re-posting my story sweet friends, as I will be at the World Trade Center Memorial tomorrow, with the families……….as always.

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One crisp, beautiful ……September morning.

New York City was quiet, but oh so very loud.

I was there as the blanket of dust and smoke, filling the air, covered my city, as “Ground Zero” , bit by bit, emerged from the wreckage.

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I remove the mask from my face, fixing my eyes upon those who were trapped or had raced inside. Submerged , snowed under and now veiled beneath the drywall, parts of the planes, the concrete, the office supplies……..

…….another fireman was found today.

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They hose me down at midnight, my ritual of departure, leaving Ground Zero, the horror and fear of the dirt, ash and soot that has rained down upon us like the poison of the evil-doers.

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I listen achingly as my fellow Americans and families from nations throughout the world, tell me how they didn’t have time to sew up some deep wound and would give anything for “just one more chance.”
“Will they get it?”, they inquire from me.

The vulnerablitly and dread reaches its peak and I too, am forced to face my panic.

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Everyone is always looking skyward. Some said you could even smell the hate in the air.

Wives, husbands, brothers, sisters.. begging me for the hope that their loved one is not dead.

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I watch daily as our cherished homeland’s flag is draped upon, not a box that holds a little girl’s father, but what is left of his body……

I observe how as each day passes, with no life found, it begins to chip away at the shaky faith and belief his mother had, knocking her to her knees.

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One day, the check finally comes due. They hesitatingly tell us.
We are now in a new “phase”:
search and recovery.
“What?!, his wife tormentingly asks……..no longer search and “rescue?”

I witness the firefighters making that helpless dive into the rubble despite it all.
Is there still a fighting chance..Did we miss someone…….

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Exhaustion finally takes over. His head is hanging low, he takes a nap on a blanket I set out on the ground. I sit with him.
He wakes with a start, and wearily, he suits up…

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This big, masculine fireman slowly rises to his feet, and says, “It was you who tucked me in..I could smell your perfume……I could feel your hair fall on my face……as I dreamed it was me caught in that ghastly place.

He softly tells me “Thank you, you do not realize what you did for me today.
I feel as though an angel tucked me in and allowed me to finally get out of my own little corner of hell and slip into such sorely needed sleep.”
A lump forms in my throat, I do not know what to say.

Is “time up?”. Is there a shelf life for grieving?
At times, when witnessing the skyline, the pain is unceasing..and I feel as though I am still holding my breath.

As for me, I can’t cry hard enough.

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Dedicated to my husband, my chauffeur, without whom I could never have served my neighbors and fellow Americans…and to all the victims of Sept.11.
I know they are resting in Your Arms, Sweet Lord.

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37 Responses to “Sept 11 : My Story”

  1. Reese says:

    Sweet Angel indeed you are and I pray that every time you look upward towards that skyline you feel the breath of Him who created you as He kisses your cheek.

    No words, nothing left to say except tears – it is as if it were yesterday. Hugs.

  2. Reese says:

    I dedicated this post to you for 9-11. God bless you!

    http://reese-onthedge.blogspot.com/2009/09/remembering-911-dedicated-to-angel.html

  3. One Ticked Chick says:

    Now I’m teary-eyed. God bless you, the families, the first responders, the search, rescue and recovery teams, and God bless our great country.

  4. Sept 11 : My Story - World Crop says:

    [...] Read the original post: Sept 11 : My Story [...]

  5. bernie says:

    It’s still hard for me to watch a pre9/11 film that shows the WTC still standing without immediately feeling overwhelming sadness at the loss of lives that day.

  6. Nickie Goomba says:

    My thoughts will be with you and the innocent families. Never forget!

  7. KarL M says:

    As the years continue to pass us by, and the criminal attacks become more distant in the rear view mirror..Never Forget Americans, who you enemies are, and even if they come dress in a suit and a tie or any other disguise…
    Never Forget they are your enemies and they want to impede your Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness. Tell them, show them…NO you will not give in to the threat of terrorism and you will NOT be “politically correct” if your safety is in danger…
    Thank you so much Angel for keeping the fire burning… the light that illuminates the darkness and exposes the wrongs and the rights..
    Give the families a group hug for all of us…..

  8. Defiant_Infidel says:

    It is never an old story. It is NEVER a “story”. It was and it IS so eternally REAL. Your hands and heart, and those of so many thousands of others, dealt directly with the ruins left by sanguinary, louting cave dwellers. May those reeking bastards rot in hell forever.

    Don’t tell me not to be angry…

    Thank you for always reminding and warding away complacency, Angel. Strength to you.

  9. C Gen says:

    Beautiful Angel…I’ll never forget.

  10. Steve says:

    No…grief doesn’t have a shelf life. There’s always a sense of loss, though the immediate pain of loss fades with time. But yeah, there’s still always that emptiness. I think it would be worse if you felt nothing at all…the trick is to channel all the feelings into positive forward action.

    Like many others, I wrote a piece too, and yeah, I even mentioned you!

  11. z says:

    It feels like it’s yesterday. Thank you for this account, Angel……you truly are an Angel. God bless America………God be with those victims families and people like you who did something to make it easier for our heroes who worked so hard……as easy as it could be.

  12. ben says:

    You said it all…

  13. Goodnight Vienna says:

    God bless Angel, we remember all those who suffered and those who suffer still.

  14. Opus #6 says:

    Lovely and beautifully written. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and families and the entire country who suffered with them.

  15. joe says:

    Lord may we NEVER forget.

  16. Always On Watch says:

    I am sickened that so many today, on the 8th anniversary of 9/11, choose to forget what happened on that day.

    I will never forget. Not ever.

    Thank you, Angel, for posting this personal story about 9/11.

    God bless you as you visit the World Trade Center Memorial today.

  17. DD2 says:

    Today is the day we remember the people who had their lives stolen from them by cowards eight years ago. Part of my City may still be in rubble, we may still hurt and we may be still bleeding, and we may never look the same, but we will overcome this cowardly act. And we will never forget it, but we will overcome it. We will not ever yield to terrorism.
    Not as long as I can help.
    God bless America and keep her FREE.

  18. namaste says:

    a beautiful tribute, angel. God bless you and your loving heart. God bless all those who lost friends and/or family on that sad day. God bless our beautiful America.

  19. LomaAlta says:

    A very moving and powerful post Angel. Thank you.

  20. benning says:

    *Hugs*

    Wonderful, Angel.

  21. Dinah Lord says:

    Weeping now.

    God Bless you, Miss Angel and may God Bless this Nation.

    I won’t forget.

  22. elvis says:

    Thank you for your very memorable post!

    strongerthandeathhq…. we betray our dead by ralph peters

  23. Jack says:

    There is no shelf life on grief and perhaps in some small way that is a good thing. It means that there are always a few who remember and work to remind those who forget that vigilance is always needed.

  24. Debbie says:

    It is a rough day Angel. But remembering those whose lives were taken, those whose lives were freely given, those who helped in whatever small way they could, … all this is the soul of America. It is because we ARE good people. We DO care and we do volunteer in what ever way we can. No one has to tell us, or order us, or dictate from Washington that we need to “serve”. We just step up and DO.

  25. Reese says:

    I love you girlyfriend……

    God bless you.

  26. Planck's Constant says:

    Forgetting September 11 2001…

    n every September 11th I usually refrain from writing blog articles on those who attacked us, but it has become impossible not to mention something very evil growing in this country….

  27. Rosemary says:

    I don’t know/remember how I made it to your blog… through some other blogs of course.
    I know your pain.
    I was lucky, my husband made it home from the Pentagon. Barely, but he was saved.
    and today is our 26th wedding anniversary. He was at a meeting that morning at the Pentagon.

    I am so sorry for your loss and I am taking your some of your sadness and grief.
    It is a heavy load, I know it.
    The strength of thousands are holding you up.
    Time does not heal this wound, but you will always have the never ending comfort of your American, true American brothers and sisters.

    God Bless you always

  28. OMMAG says:

    Just for the heck of it …. let’s not forget that there are still lot’s of so called Americans who are trying to make this YOUR fault.

    Grief is part of being human …. blaming your neighbors for suffering is demented… ignoring these things is despicable.

    America’s greatest enemy resides in you’re own town on your streets. They despise the fact that you are not willing to hate your nation as they do and they are feeling very free to tell you so.

    Never let up on these willing tools and enemies of freedom.

  29. Matt says:

    Touching and powerful. I can’t say any more than that .

  30. MK says:

    A wonderful tribute Angel, may they rest in peace now.

  31. Pamela D. Hart says:

    He softly tells me “Thank you, you do not realize what you did for me today.
    I feel as though an angel tucked me in and allowed me to finally get out of my own little corner of hell and slip into such sorely needed sleep.”

    He WAS right. An Angel DID tuck him in.

    You set aside you wings and halo to walk among us, Angel.

    Bless you and all that you do.

  32. DragonLady says:

    God bless you, Angel!

  33. Debbies Choice says:

    9-11 is not a day of National Service. It’s a day of National Mourning as we remember those who lost their lives on 9-11-01. To make it anything else is despicable. This news saddens me beyond words …

    It is a day to remember that the enemy attacks us, and murdered 3,500 of our innocent people doing nothing but minding their own business.
    Why do you have to go along with everything that Obama says. You know what they call that! Drinking the kool-aide. Why can’t we have a so called “day of service on any other day. Why can’t we have a day of service every day and leave Sept 11th alone?
    Can’t you see that there’s a hidden socialist agenda at work!
    I will do my day of service on 9/11 by taking my kids and their friends to a 9-11 memorial service.
    We Must Never Forget!

  34. RaDena says:

    I agree with Debbie; “To make it anything else is despicable.” But then, Obama himself is dispicable! Today I read on the Fox News website that he’s going to give Afghanistan detainees new rights. He tries to take away our rights but give new rights to our enemies. It’s pretty easy to see whose side he is on and it isn’t ours.

    Your post touched me very deeply, Angel. You really saw it all and I’m sure it’s left more of an impact on you than on those of us who saw it on television, but it’s something none of us are ever going to forget. Bless you because you for being the person you are. We are thankful that on that day you weren’t killed. You are extremely valuable to all of us.

  35. American Crusader says:

    At times, it is still hard to watch the events unfold as they did on that day. What makes it worse is that 8 years later and it’s still known as Ground Zero.
    I heard somewhere that it took about 400 days to build the Empire State building.
    I lived in Fort Wadsworth Staten Island when the twin towers were being built and I was amazed at how fast the project progressed.
    I wonder how long before they finally start construction of something other than the basement?
    Maybe they should have just made a park.

  36. Red says:

    Love you. ;-)

  37. Bunni says:

    Angel, you truly live up to your name. I did not realize you were there that horrible day and gave so much comfort to so many! God Bless you, you are very brave and caring. Beautiful post.